Like an abusive family member, the father of our country violates those who depend on him. His dangers must be recognized.

I’ve worked in the field of domestic violence for over 25 years, seeing horrific violations of the vulnerable. The violations by those their family relies upon and the violations of our 47th president, Donald J. Trump, are parallel in their inordinate need for domination, power, and control.

Please read on.

When domestic abuse within a family is suspected, the most urgent challenge in family therapy is for the consulted clinician to determine if a powerful family member is putting those who rely on them in harm’s way. When so, the abusive family member is often charismatic and appealing, and those who depend on their presence fear him deeply. With a carefully determined identification, even if this individual resists treatment (which is common) a healthy process can progress toward marginalizing ruthless power and control by strengthening other family members. When therapy is effective, family members face the truth, and the tyrant is left alone — isolated and powerless. But make no mistake, abusive family members do all possible to protect their power through all means possible to sabotage healing and maintain control.

What tactics are used to threaten the health of a family and society? In healthy family and societal systems, anxiety flows upward through questions and expressed concerns, always responded to. In dysfunctional systems anxieties are constantly imposed from the top, pitting individuals against each other, leading to animosity, angry division, and isolation from trusted friends and colleagues. In this way, mature problem-solving is thwarted, as individuals seek refuge in silent withdrawal. In these pathologic settings lies become truths through hypnotic repetition. Ridicule of others is used as entertainment to divert ultimate goals. Money for sustenance withers.

Without intervention, in both families and societies, there is submission to a violator’s will through a reign of terror. In societies, this includes the destruction of a free press and military control, with accompanying murder, arrest, and torture. In a family’s parallel, if not death itself, there is the imprisonment of the spirit and the soul.

What clearer evidence than our 47th president is a tyrannical lover of autocracy, devoid of concern for the well-being of those who rely on him, than what recently occurred in the Oval Office? In a scene beyond belief, our president and vice-president did all in their power to humiliate Volodymyr Zelenskyy, employing their well-honed pattern of lies — telling him and expecting us to believe that Zelenskyy was the one standing in the way of peace, not Vladimir Putin. This surreal exchange proved the tipping point for our long-time European colleagues, forced to confront the painful truth that America is no longer their trusted friend and ally.

Donald Trump’s long-range goals? The pieces of seeming ludicrous statements now fit. Our president’s plan, as is true of other dictators, is to slice and dice the world as we know it. Putin and Xi Jinping’s yearnings regarding Europe and Taiwan are clear. With the tyrants who attacked our Capitol on January 6th, 2020, whom he calls patriots, under his beck and call, and a replaced loyal Joint Chief of Staff at his side, Donald Trump’s endgame has become a possibility. His stated wish is to annex Canada, Greenland, and the Panama Canal. He also has spoken of invading Venezuela, annexing Mexico, and taking over the Gaza Strip. The painting of our 11th president, James K. Polk, who oversaw America’s greatest territorial expansion to date is now in Donald Trump’s Oval Office.

If Donald Trump’s grandiose statements and goals alarm you, your fears are well placed. Our president suffers from a dangerous, volatile psychiatric condition, megalomania. He believes and is ardently attempting to convince all that God saved him from assassination so that his wishes become reality and in this way, America will be great again.

As our 47th president moves forward to do all possible to meet his goals, through his saccharine voice, he will continue to present himself as a magnificent Father of our Country, diverting attention from his true nature with “good television” — such as the release of a long-imprisoned hostage or a child with cancer receiving a “Make-A-Wish” moment, as well as the humiliation of decent, ethical people.

Both our president’s illness and intent must be bravely confronted and halted. To survive, family members must face truths about the violation of body, spirit, and soul, and set themselves free from a tyrannical hold. In like manner, We the People are the only ones who can end the despotic violation that threatens all we hold dear. The first step is to recognize its disastrous intent and then, with deft precision, we must passionately, ardently confront lies with truth.

Justices must continue to speak out, even more vehemently than Justice Roberts’s recent rebuke when Donald Trump disrespected the court order to return two flights of men denied due process, sent to an inhuman Venezuelan prison. In addition to our courts, each member of Congress who cherishes democracy must call town halls to point to America’s menacing “enemy within” as prep not only for our next election but beyond.

Further, never in our lifetimes has a free press been more essential. While other newspapers have caved, the March 20th, 2025 editorial warning of my hometown Philadelphia Inquirer was fearless: “Donald Trump continues to trample the Constitution with reckless abandon, while sadly most other Republican and Democratic leaders do nothing.”

It is up to We the People to act. Outreach to the White House and Republican elected officials must unceasingly convey our president’s malevolence. We must demonstrate that we are not afraid to call out lies and destruction — that we refuse to continue to be pitted against each other or terrified into retreat. We must do so as if our very lives and the lives of our loved ones depend on it. For most assuredly, they do.

Originally Published on Medium March 20, 2025

To the editor:

My husband proposed during halftime of the 1979 Super Bowl. I had been sitting next to him absorbed in my work when he entered the room with Champagne and roses. Everyone I was close to knew I had to be deeply in love, for I had always steered clear of football. To me, real life was dangerous enough. Games offered no diversion, only fear a player would be badly injured. But my husband is a loyal fan. Through the years, I sat next to him doing work, loving that he would hoot and holler, cheering his beloved Eagles on in their wins, and sure they would turn things around when they were losing — even hopelessly so.

As time passed, when the cameras focused on Philly fans, or players, coaches, and owners were interviewed, Stan would nudge me to put down my work to watch and listen. It struck me, as my husband and I sipped Champagne last Sunday, toasting our team to victory (and our anniversary), that President Donald Trump, who sat in the Chiefs’ box, left during halftime when his support, regardless of the outcome, would have meant so much. Our fans would never, ever do that. What does our Super Bowl championship mean to me? The grit and determination of our soaring Eagles, the unwavering love and loyalty of their fans, and my gratitude to live in my adopted city.

Published in The Philadelphia Inquirer February 19, 2025

Read the full review on socialworker.com

by SaraKay Smullens, MSW, LCSW, DCSW, CGP, CFLE, BCD

     A Real Pain is essential film for those in the social work and related professions to experience and to recommend, brilliantly written and directed by Jesse Eisenberg, and starring Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin. With uncommon insight, A Real Pain gently addresses myriad examples of intergenerational trauma that run the gamut from a lack of self-respect to self-loathing, leading to an inability to connect with others and the devastation of failed relationships. It offers the opportunity to address questions we as social workers are asked again and again: Why am I hated? Why do “they” want to kill us?

     Social workers know that burying our pain, pushing it toward oblivion, is a major cause of failure in all aspects of life. A Real Pain reveals the cost of personal isolation and the importance of connection. We learn that even if the intensity of connection between two who love and trust may seem frightening and overwhelming, refusing to walk away leads to mutual compassion and broader insights and vision that uplift in remarkable ways. The film also affirms that, with unshakable hope, we can endure what is necessary, leading to inner strength.  

     Through these messages, A Real Pain begs the question: Why are we so afraid to face difficult emotions? For once we do, we can decide if, when, and how to share with others. When we decide to wisely share, the experience itself is the highlight. This process of deep, respectful listening, coupled with doing all possible to rid ourselves of bias, can lead to closeness and calm, allowing the give and take of problem solving. Compromise then becomes an act of love, not submission.

     Billed as a two-for-the-road dramedy, your laughter will draw you closer to serious examination of the inner worlds and outer manifestations of two cousins, raised more as brothers, who have lost touch with each other. Benji Kaplan (Culkin), is devoid of any semblance of boundary between his Self and events in the real world. His breathtaking, passionate, emotionally crippling insights have put his direction at a standstill. David Kaplan (Eisenberg) is a devoted husband and father who cannot access emotion. He is tied to a NYC tech job that offers little satisfaction and suffers from an anxiety disorder and OCD.