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When Winning
is Losing
FORGIVE my cynicism, but I'm not sure how
sick Blair Hornstine really is. I am convinced, however, that the
Honorable and Mrs. Hornstine are the true culprits in a dilemma that
called for parenting, not courts. It is they, not their daughter,
who deserve the wrath of Moorestown.
Be a fly in my psychotherapy office, and
you'll meet parents just like Blair's. Their kids are taught to get
what they want - any way that they want.
Such parents call their domination and
extreme overprotection love, but it's really emotional abuse - and
it's an epidemic.
When Blair's school changed the rules, my
bet is her parents were more enraged than she. Their lack of common
sense and judgment is the reason for their daughter's present
humiliation (and the boos that may contaminate graduation day for an
entire class).
Ironically, had Blair's parents not treated
her in such a disabling way, the idea of sharing an honor would not
make her feel like "the disabled valedictorian." She would
understand that, though the letter of the law may have been on her
side, it was a bad and unfair law. Sharing was the right and
generous thing to do.
Harvard, not exactly a warm and fuzzy place,
may play to all of Blair's worst qualities. But it could also
provide some tough love and be just what the doctor, if not her
parents, ordered. She may finally learn she's not the center of the
universe, begin to separate from her parents and develop some
humility.
And that is the medicine that could save her
life.
SaraKay Smullens
Philadelphia
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