To the editor:

When I was a young clinician in training, psychoanalysis was recommended as essential. This meant consulting a professional several days each week, where you examined your life to make sure that any of your own unfinished emotional business did not get in the way of deep listening to the hopes, frustrations, and painful experiences of others. One of the most important lessons for me was gaining an understanding of sociopathy, and how it is next to impossible to outmaneuver a sociopath.

They are human chameleons who can change their tunes and contradict themselves at every turn to achieve their goals. While most people have a conscience, this is a foreign concept to a sociopath. They are wired in ways completely different than most of us, who have a desire to love and care for others, which makes it next to impossible to outsmart them. While they care only for themselves, they are extremely skilled in making others believe they care deeply about them. The charisma of a sociopath can be so intense, so blinding, that those taken in will disregard any warning — unless and until inflicted pain teaches them that for survival, change is necessary. Unless and until they learn they have been duped.

Our president-elect is a perfect example. He knows precisely how to respond to the needs, frustrations, and pain of a large part of our citizenry, promising them that he alone can make their hopes and dreams come true. For many, his rage and vile, ugly expressions offered vicarious venting of long-simmering frustrations — “At last, I am seen. At last, I am heard.” Democracy has spoken, but together we must keep calling attention to duplicity, dishonor, and the dangers that surround us. In time, change will happen. I have seen it again and again in my work. It will also be true of our country.SaraKay Smullens
Philadelphia

Published in The Philadelphia Inquirer November 13, 2024

To the editor:

We must do everything possible together to diminish the power of Donald Trump’s most recent hate fueled, passive aggressive behavior following Kamala Harris’s uplifting, authentic democracy fueled wind up message. President Biden misspoke about hate immediately following her triumph, and his timing was harmful. However, while our president did not apologize, he clarified. Once again, Harris responded appropriately, showing the precise temperament necessary for the office she seeks. Our vice-president reminded voters that she and Biden are not the same person. She reiterated her message, her essence—everyone will be welcome at her table—and she calmly refused to throw the president she served under the bus. 

But there is something far deeper and important to understand and discuss about this unfortunate incident—in addition to Joe Biden’s failing physical strength. Down deep, Joe Biden remains furious. Not only has he been forced out of office by those he considered loyal friends, but because of the necessity of succinct messengers at this extremely dangerous time, he has also been left out of major public appearances. Joe Biden is stubborn; he is seething; he is a fierce competitor who believes he had earned the right to his Party’s endorsement and that he would have once again won his office. Surely he is not cut for the role thrust on him. This, not his age, is the primary factor that impaired his judgement.

SaraKay Smullens
Philadelphia

Submitted to The Philadelphia Inquirer November 1, 2024

To the editor:

Last week I was invited to present evidence based material at a mental health conference held in Northeast Pennsylvania. My topic: The roots of dysfunctional leadership in families, work settings, on boards, and in elected and appointed office. The number of Trump-Vance signs dotting this trip seemed more abundant than those noting Harris-Walz. My surprise was not the signs, but the tight body of Trump supporters in my field who were present at the conference.  

To briefly summarize three of several essentials noted during the session I led: In a functional setting, anxiety flows upward. There is always someone to hear your concerns, thoughts, opinions respectfully and respond to them. In a dysfunctional setting anxiety from the leader is imposed from the top accompanied by threat, ridicule, and demeaning, humiliating verbiage. The goal to control and induce fear of a thought or opinion the leader disagrees with, causing either withdrawal or discord within a group. My second point: the state of dignity, a combination of pride and humility, is the sign of both a healthy citizen and leader. In other words, one experiences self-worth, but also knows that all others are just as worthy. Thirdly, the state of dignity begins to take root because someone — it does not have to be the parent! — loves the child. 

Two walked out of my presentation, one politely, and one throwing up her hands in disgust, loudly stating, “I’m otta here,” slamming the door behind her. The next day, she found me alone at a table during a session break, approaching with an attack: “This conference is not political, and you were political.” My response: “In today’s dangerous time personal development and politics cannot be separated. My session did not cover political issues. It covered the character development necessary for trustworthy leadership.” I asked her why she did not remain in the session to discuss her views, explaining that doing so would have added depth and quality to our time together. Adding “Civil discourse is so needed today. You had much to contribute.” She responded that the majority would not have been interested. I assured her she was wrong about this. 

A few hours later someone who sat through my session quietly approached me, with these words: “A different perspective was offered in our time together. I had been caught up believing that my family no longer mattered to present leadership. I understand now what is at stake if I vote for who I came to this conference supporting.” My eyes misted as we said one word in unison, “Everything.”

SaraKay Smullens
Philadelphia

Submitted to The Philadelphia Inquirer November 1, 2024